Parenting isn’t easy, and there is no single approach to explain everything. But if you are looking for a way to raise independent, respectful, and emotionally secure kids, the authoritative parenting style might be what you need. This approach strikes the perfect balance between being firm and being loving. It’s all about guiding kids without being overbearing and supporting them without letting them run the show.
In this post, we will explore what the authoritative parenting style is, how it compares to other parenting styles, its pros and cons, real-life examples, and tips on how you can apply it in your own home.
The authoritative parenting style is a balanced approach where parents set clear expectations and rules, but also listen to their children and support them emotionally. These parents are neither too strict (like authoritarian parents) nor too lenient (like permissive parents).
They want their kids to grow up responsible and self-reliant, and they know that comes from guidance, not control. So, instead of being strict with them, they empathize with them and try to understand them. By doing so, they can make informed decisions about what’s good for their kids.
Given below are some of the characteristics that authoritative parents exhibit while parenting;
Let’s say a child has made a mistake in his or her work. As a response, instead of saying “Because I said so,” authoritative parents explain the reasons behind the rules. They treat their children as individuals with thoughts and feelings that matter and guide them through the language they might understand the best.
There are four main parenting styles, and understanding how they differ helps highlight the benefits of authoritative parenting. The main metric to differentiate all the parenting styles is the amount of warmth and control in the relationship, and the reason that authoritative parenting is considered the best is that it is a balanced way that utilizes both warmth and control equally.
This style is all about rules and obedience. Parents are strict and expect their children to follow rules without question. There’s little room for discussion, and warmth is often lacking. They want their kids to move a certain way without caring much about what makes them happy.
On the other hand, Authoritative parents set rules too, but they explain them and show empathy. They make it in a way that their children re not forced to follow them, rather they want to follow them.
Permissive parents are warm and loving, but they don’t enforce rules consistently. They let the kids do what they want with minimal or no restrictions at all. Kids raised this way often lack self-discipline and struggle with authority.
In contrast, Authoritative parents offer love and structure. They have both the aspects, control and warmth, in their parenting style.
This is a hands-off approach where parents meet basic needs but offer little guidance or support. The parents may believe that if they are providing for their kids with necessities, they are doing enough. The parenting style lacks a mutual connection, and the children often feel neglected.
On the other hand, authoritative parents are actively engaged in their child’s life. They give children their time and attention to make them feel important and work on their discipline.
Experts agree that the authoritative parenting style leads to the best developmental outcomes for kids, whereby the child grows to have an optimal personality.
Research backs up what many parents already feel: authoritative parenting helps raise happy, well-adjusted children. Here are the benefits of an authoritative parenting style to understand why it works so well.
Kids raised with this style learn that their actions have consequences. They understand the “why” behind rules, so they are more likely to make good decisions on their own.
Because authoritative parents show respect for their kids’ opinions and emotions, children learn to respect others and express their feelings in healthy ways.
Mistakes aren’t punished harshly; they are seen as learning opportunities. Kids grow confident knowing they can handle challenges and bounce back from failure.
Studies show that children of authoritative parents tend to do better in school. They are more motivated, organized, and supported both emotionally and practically.
When kids are encouraged to speak up and make decisions, they grow into strong communicators and natural leaders.
So what does this parenting style look like in everyday life? Here are a few common scenarios and how an authoritative parent might handle them:
Instead of banning screens or handing over the tablet whenever the child asks, an authoritative parent sets boundaries: “You can have one hour of screen time after you finish your homework. If you follow the rules all week, you can earn some extra time on the weekend.”
If a child refuses dinner, the parent doesn’t force them to eat or whip up a new meal on demand. They might say, “You don’t have to eat this, but you can make yourself a sandwich if you’re hungry.”
If a child is nervous about a school play or a birthday party, the parent validates their feelings: “I know it feels scary, but I believe in you. Let’s make a plan together so you feel more comfortable.”
In each case, the parent sets clear expectations while also offering empathy and support.
You don’t need to be perfect. Achieving a positive or conscious parenting style can be hard and needs a lot of effort. Parenting is a journey, and the authoritative style is something you can grow into. Here are some tips to help you get started:
Make sure your kids know what’s expected of them. Use simple, age-appropriate language. And don’t forget to explain the “why.”
Kids thrive on consistency. If you set a rule, follow through. But be flexible when needed and willing to talk things through.
Let your child make choices and solve problems. Support them when they struggle, but resist the urge to fix everything for them.
Give your kids a voice. Ask for their opinions and feelings, and really listen. This builds trust and helps you understand their world.
Catch your child being good and praise them for it. Reinforcing positive behavior encourages them to keep it up.
The authoritative parenting style offers a thoughtful, balanced way to raise confident, compassionate, and capable kids. It’s not about being perfect or always having the right answer. It’s about being present, setting clear expectations, and building a strong, respectful relationship with your child.
If you want to raise emotionally secure children, socially skilled, and able to handle life’s ups and downs, this parenting style is worth embracing. It takes time, patience, and a lot of love, but the long-term benefits are more than worth it.
Remember, parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. And with the authoritative parenting style, you are setting your child up not just for childhood success, but for a happy, healthy adulthood too.
Children raised with the authoritative parenting style tend to have higher self-esteem, better academic performance, stronger social skills, and lower levels of anxiety and depression.
Yes, authoritative parents often help children manage anxiety by validating their feelings and encouraging them to face their fears, all while maintaining consistent support and structure.
Can two parents with different styles raise kids using the authoritative approach?
Yes, with open communication and shared goals, parents with different styles can shift toward a more authoritative parenting style to provide consistency and balance at home.
How can I become a more authoritative parent?
To adopt the authoritative parenting style, focus on setting clear rules, being consistent with discipline, and keeping an open, respectful line of communication with your child.
We are here to guide you toward healing, peace, and understanding through the wisdom of Islam. At Sakeena Academy, we combine Quranic knowledge with compassionate support for Muslims facing mental health challenges.
© 2025 Sakeena Academy. All Rights Reserved.
